Valentine’s Day

My greatest narcissistic fear is that I’ll arrive in China and immediately be named “the fat white woman.” My repetitive overindulgences of the last 10 years will be exemplified in a country that embraces routine group exercise and 3 helpings of rice a day.
So I decided I must drop a few pounds in preparation for our move, and that my husband must get me a treadmill for Valentine’s Day. Much to his surprise, I located a used one on craigslist, negotiated the purchase ($40), and agreed to pick it up last night. Of course I notified Casey immediately after the purchase.
I have decided you pretty much always get what you pay for. Well, not this time. I got a little extra with this purchase. It came with a nice helping multi-colored green and blue mold.
I thought it was a bit suspicious that when we arrived in Madison to claim my purchase, it was already setting outside in the dark. The dark also masked the missing knobs, the spray painted conveyer belt, rust, and a thick layer of dust that can only be removed with a very sharp razor blade.
The prior owners assured us it worked and graciously appeared with a screw driver to dismantle this beast of a machine. There is nothing compact about this piece of equipment. It looks as if it came directly from Olivia Newton John’s 1980s basement gym. Upon getting it home we found that an addition would need to be added to our bedroom in order to house it properly. For now we will just leave it parked firmly between the footboard of our bed and the chester drawers. The good news… because it extends into the entryway of my closet, it can also serve as a wonderful clothes rack. (Nice selling feature!)
Maybe it would serve its purpose more effectively if I relocated it to the kitchen, in front of the refrigerator. Even if I do manage to move it, just looking at the thing makes me lose my appetite.
One way or another it just might do the trick. Happy Valentine’s Day! I’ll be “getting physical” for the next 5 months!